Big news of the day was a leak of a Danish document proposing the outline of a new agreement which didn’t involve the UN, or the Kyoto Protocol, the only current treaty on limiting emissions. Yvo de Boer,executive secretary of the Copenhagen talks, was keen to point out that “This was an informal paper ahead of the conference given to a number of people for the purposes of consultations”

Development agency representative Sol Oyuela was not so sure. “The document should not even exist. To be working on a rival text is a kick in the teeth to the UN process that has been negotiated for so long.”

The leaked document proposed $10 billion of aid for poorer countries to adapt to climate change. “Quite good” said an Oxfam representative. This isn¹t even enough to pay for our coffins² said an official representing the poorest countries.

Dissapointingly, the leak showed the rich and the poor divided on the amount of emissions cuts poor countries should make, the date by which global emissions should start to fall, and how any deal should be funded. Quite a lot to sort out in 12 days.

Meanwhile, the World Meteorological Organisations¹s (WMO), a body made up of the UK Met Office and equivalents around the world, announced that this decade has been the warmest on record.

“Oh but releasing that now is an attempt to influence the negotiations” said the same people who’d been giving out stolen emails last week . “That’s right” said the WMO.

The US space agency Nasa weighed in, predicting that a new global temperature record will be set “in the next one or two years”.

In a curious coincidence, Filipino Bernarditas de Castro Muller, an outspoken campaigner for the worlds’ poorer countries and at the
centre of climate negotiations for 20 years, was left off the list of the Filipino delegation just after a visit from Hilary Clinton. She was snapped up by Sudan, who seem to be offering shelter to out of favour diplomats.

The Copenhagen mayor sent postcards to all central hotels warning summit guests not to visit Danish sex workers. The prostitutes have negotiated a solution far more effectively than anything yet achieved by the summit delegates, and are now all offering major discounts to anyone carrying the mayor’s postcards.

The EU delegation showed some journalists around their rooms at the Bella Centre, where the negotiations are taking place. In a strange twist, they have been assigned rooms which carry the names of great Swedish inventions. Their meetings move between Safety Match, Adjustable Spanner, Cream Separator or Zipper. Meanwhile, as you would expect, the US have a hi tech operations centre, and the 132 countries that make up the G77 of the worlds poorest nations have a few broom cupboards.


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Posted by: Andy Cato (Groove Armada) on December 10, 2009 @ 11:08 AM
Posted in: Take Action
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